Young Millionaire Group » Choices

Barriers to Success – Is There Chaos in Your Life? – (BTS Part 5)

Rob Wheeler — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 21:11:08 +0000

The Berlin Wall

During the cold war a reminder of the separation of Germany was the Berlin Wall. This barrier existed during one of the most notorious periods of Chaos in the life of Germany. It was a constant reminder of the unwanted presence of a difference country who invaded the country, lives and culture of an entire people. Talk about a barrier!!!

If my blog allowed sub-titles the sub-title for this one would be: Aligning Your Life by Defining Your Values

In many instances a person will wonder, “Why am I conflicted inside?” I am working on my goals and following my dreams?

We often wonder why such events occur in our lives. For those who have never thought about it, it can present a troubling aura around daily living. This feeling of conflict or dissonance is called “Chaos”.

Chaos stems from our core value set not being clearly defined and our actions being incongruent with our underlying “value set”. That lack of congruency while real, does not manifest itself clearly to us as a result of our value sets not being defined. Moreover, we struggle with it on a daily basis as a result of not even knowing that the problem exists.

Defining values can be more fundamental to our happiness than we ever imagined. It can help us to understand ourselves, our relationships our spirituality and our moral standards. This definition can help alleviate the daily worries and anxiety that we experience.

Many people write down their goals. This is a good thing. However, if your goals conflict with your underlying value set, then you have the same problem all over again. Value sets must be determined PRIOR to goals being set or CHAOS will ensue.

So, how do we define values? I have often wondered how to gather the resources together to aid in this. Well, the internet has obliged. In the resource box below is a link to a page I have set up specifically for helping you define your values. There are three aids that I think will help tremendously; Value Sheet, Personal Affirmation and List of Values. With these three and the explanation below, you should be able to define your core value set and align it to a personal affirmation.

With these tools you can begin to truly align your value sets with your goals and remove the chaos that this misalignment may have caused in your life. WARNING: This drill may produce significantly different results than you were expecting. It did for me.

So, here’s how we do it!

#1. Take the master list of values and circle every value that you really think aligns to you. Be generous and circle who you really are.
#2. Go back and place a rectangle around the twenty or less that describe who you most want to be.
#3. From that twenty, take a highlighter and highlight the 12 that are critical to you.
#4. Number them from one to twelve.
#5. Write the top ten on your Value Sheet.

This drill will help you define and decide how you want to live. Not in the specifics, but in the underlying values you want yourself to live by and others to see.

Compare your results to your goals. Do they match? If they do not, this may be why you have experienced that chaos in your life. Not to worry, we can realign them very easily. Goals change with life experience and knowledge. You may have a different set of knowledge now and you can put that knowledge to use using the tools provided here.

Remember, each day you have a chance to start with a blank slate. You can choose to be better, more confident, more aligned and happy or you can choose to remain static.

Rob Wheeler

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Barriers to Success – Motivation – (BTS Part 4)

Rob Wheeler — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 04:05:46 +0000

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Iceburg

An iceberg is a devious barrier with the most damaging parts of it underneath the water sometimes impervious to sight.

The Titanic was suppose to be the “unsinkable” ship. An iceberg took it out easily and many people perished as a result of this unseen or unperceived barrier

There are some barriers in our lives that don’t seem to be that large when we first look at them. However, when you look underneath the barrier it is larger than you ever imagined. How you deal with these “unseen” barriers will determine largely how well you succeed in your business and personal life.

Today we will be addressing one of these unseen barriers. Personal motivation is an unseen barrier. It is internal, self determined and self handled.

I remember my dad coming into my room and saying, “Time for school!”

It was soooo hard to get up to go to school, and I liked school. My motivation level for school was just not at a level to ensure consistent participation. What gets you motivated? Have you found that special “thing” that motivates you?

Martin Luther King says:

“I say to you, this morning, that if you have never found something so dear and precious to you that you will die for it, then you aren’t fit to live.”

What are you willing to DIE for.

I have heard it said that if your why doesn’t make you cry, its not big enough.

There are many things that motivate us, but they are usually broken into two categories. Desperation and Inspiration. People that are motivated by desperation find that their motivation usually is a temporary motivation and will dissipate as soon as the situation that caused the desperation has been resolved or eliminated. Desperate people react to situations.

Inspiration on the other hand can have a significantly longer time span because it is rooted in the subconscious. It is built from a deep mission or longing. It will not dissipate with results. Rather with results, it will build excitement spurring additional results and desire. Inspired people are proactive.

It has been said that you can lead a horse to water, but you can NOT make him drink. While this is fundamentally true, if you feed a horse salt pellets along the way, the horse will drink the water without you having to ask.

There is a measure of of pure determination and disciple in any motivation. That is why it is important to find that which inspires you. Motivation starts with self. However, it should extend to others to ensure that your mission gets traction toward completion.

Matthew McConahey really caught the vision in the film We Are Marshall.

Will you “lay it on the line” today? Inspiration beats desperation every time.

Here are a few things you can do to help in the motivation process:

• Dream Big – Visualize what your successful day will look like.
• Speak it out loud
• Choose to have the right attitude
• Believe in yourself
• Give yourself the time to succeed
• Remove Negative/Abusive People from your circle of influence.
• Read positive/inspirational materials
• Determine in your mind that you will NEVER give up.
• Break tasks into smaller parts
• Seek inspiration from those who have traveled the same path and are successful
• Build a positive group of Key Resources^TM
• Music is a master motivator. Use it to your advantage
• Living things motivate. Keep things that are alive around you.
• Become a life long student of your industry choice
• Reward yourself for reaching a goal

These things will ensure that you keep yourself motivated. Listen to motivating people and watch motivating material. Seek your true inspiration to ensure that you have the energy and drive to succeed.

Listen to Gene Hackman:

You don’t need a sports movie to create motivation. Notice that each coach here is programming the athletes mind in preparation for performing above the normal abilities. You can program you mind the exact same way.

Choose to be better.

Rob.

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Barriers to Success – Lack of Commitment – (BTS Part 3)

Rob Wheeler — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 14:42:32 +0000

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There is an old joke that as far as breakfast goes the pig is committed and the chicken is just involved.

Are you just involved in life or are you committed? During the Chinese crackdown on democracy at Tianemen Square there were many demonstrations about commitment. However, none seemed to capture the world so much as “Tank Man”.

Talk about commitment! He was willing to stand in front of oncoming ROLLING tanks. He realized that he was as committed as he could be to the ideals he stands for. John F. Kennedy has a favorite poem. It is Ulysses by Alfred Tennyson. You can read the whole poem at:

Ulysses - JFK's Favorite Poem

In the poem an old King looks back on younger days. However, in the last stanza he states:

We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are,–
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

Not to yield? Never give up! Keep going! Keep striving to reach all those things that you have committed to. There are pledges and promises that you make constantly. You make these oaths to your friends, family, co-workers and to those who look up to you, whom you do not yet realize. They are your true audience. Challenge yourself to do the best you can at all things so that those who are watching, and oh so many are watching, can benefit from seeing true commitment. Edward Hale may have said it best:
I am only one,
But still I am one.
I cannot do everything,
But still I can do something.
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do
The something that I can do.

I don’t care if you are one and ONLY one. You can make a difference. You can change the world!

Princess Diana talked about doing what you really believe you should do. That will help you to ensure that there is a deep commitment to complete all the tasks because You want to. She said:

“Only do what your heart tells you to.”

She saved hundreds, if not thousands with her efforts to remove landmines. Look at the first word she chose. ONLY!!!! Only do what will ensure that you keep your promises. Then you don’t have to worry about motivation as much.

Thomas Jefferson as he wrote the Declaration of Independence included these words. What a commitment they were. Would you sacrifice as much if needed?:

“We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honour.”

Would you give up your life, fortune and even your honor to keep those commitments that you promise to deliver on. The founding fathers did!

What are your willing to give up to achieve that which means so much to you? What can you leave behind, so that you can move ahead. Your reputation, your “status”. Who cares what other people think. If you knew how little they think about you, you would not worry so much about what they think.

Spanish Conquistador Hernando Cortez upon reaching the Mexican continent had his 11 ships burned. Whether his men were committed or not, Cortez was. He was going to conquer the new world at any cost up to and including his own very life. No retreat, conquer or be conquered.

David McNally said, “Commitment is the enemy of resistance, for it is the serious promise to press on, to get up, no matter how many times you are knocked down.”

My father, Thomas L. Wheeler said once, “Rob its not how far you fall, but rather how high you bounce.”

We are going to get knocked down, bullied, told no, rejected, unrequited…etc. No matter how many times it hurts, we HAVE to get up. What number of times will it take you being knocked down to stay down. I say, I DON’T know yet and I ain’t gonna find out, ’cause I WILL get back up!

Vince Lombardi the great coach of the Green Bay Packers, talks about commitment from a team standpoint:

Individual commitment to a group effort — that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.

So, the individual has to commit to the team, company, society, work, civilization as a whole or whatever he or she is involved in for the whole to work as a team. So, there is an “I” in TEAM. The “I” is “I commit to the team!!”

Even the english language places importance on it. According to the dictionary, commitment is a noun. A noun is a person, place or thing. They are all concrete, physical, defineable stuff.

Here are some solid steps to handling commitments:

#1. Define the commitments you have made. Write them down.

#2. Define who they were made to. Again, write them down.

#3. Determine those you can keep -vs- those you will not.

#4. Go talk to the people whom you made the commitments you are NOT going to keep and apologize.

#5. Redouble your efforts to keep those which you will keep.

#6. Carefully consider all future commitments and don’t commit to those you can’t keep.

These steps may seem simple. However, they take time, emotion and effort. One of the biggest problems many of us experience is over-commitment. Your time is your most valuable asset protect it for you, your family and career to ensure that you can keep your promises.

Like the pig, Tank Man and Cortez, if you are going to commit. Doit! Go the whole way! If you are not, then don’t.

Rob Wheeler.

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Park -n- Ride with Jacob

Rob Wheeler — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 06:27:03 +0000

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No, I didn’t get on a plane. But with John, Jacob and Linda coming home from Florida, the airport and the “big” plane ride was on Jacob’s mind. So, we spent today creating two totally different designs on a Park -n- Ride and the logistics for the buses to pick up the people.

Jacob's Tongue

Both Dad and Jacob had fun while we were doing it. As I am creating materials for the upcoming Barriers to Success series, this little activity made me think, “Are there Barriers to Success as far as being a good parent?”

I went, “WHOOOOAAA!”

When I worked at IBM I traveled quite a bit and there were times when I was three weeks out and two days back, three weeks out and two days back. Talk about a barrier.

Chris, Jordan and John were never afforded the time, my time, with a father that they should have. Jacob sees me almost every night. I very rarely travel now.

Barriers to being a good parent can be just as devastating or more than those you struggle with in your career path. When we talk about life balance during Barriers to Success, I will go through a heart wrenching story in detail about that very struggle.

When I was going through it, it brought me to tears and I have to choke them down even now as I think about it.

I will remember building this Park -n- Ride for a long time to come. I hope you have many Park -n- Rides in your life.

Rob Wheeler

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The Barriers to Success

Rob Wheeler — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 22:32:23 +0000

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Well, We are officially announcing the series “The Barriers to Success.”

The Key to Success

Over the coming months we will be going over those things that hold us back, keep us from breaking out and stop us from accomplishing great things.

There are many barriers in our life and we need to look inside ourselves as we approach any of them to ascertain how we will get around, go over, go under or blast through those barriers.

The key to success is navigating those barriers that we encounter.

With each post we will be highlighting a barrier you are familiar with that is physical in nature and then sharing the mental, social or philosophical barriers along with.

I know this is a short post. But, Monday starts a new dawn in learning The Barriers to Success.

Make sure you are ready and have a pencil and paper as you read the posts. There will be plenty O’ good stuff.

Rob Wheeler

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Fly Fishin', Four Wheelin', Hikin' and Relaxin'

Rob Wheeler — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 05:11:33 +0000

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I was spending time today just relaxing on a “beach” in the high Uintas in Utah. The boys were hiking and riding four wheelers. Two guys came up and started Fly Fishin’. It was amazing watching the back and forth motion of the fly and fishing line as the fisherman fished. I can say that they didn’t catch anything today, but the art that they showed was amazing. I watched as my boys hiked. Jordan hiked around the whole small lake and had fun. All the kids and adults except me played on the four wheelers and even Jacob rode with “uncle” Aaron for a while around the parking lot.

It is amazing how sometimes we play hard and sometimes we choose to relax. The last time the four wheelers were out, we took our lives in our hands with some Cat. 5 trails. John and I were not sure we were going to live.

Anyway, the point it, there are different times in your life that you will want to play hard and sometimes you will want to relax. Success gives you the opportunity to choose. You can kick back or kick it in depending on your mood.

Choices are what we make each day. The ability to play, whenever you want, wherever you want comes with hard work and discipline applied over a long period of time. In the coming weeks, I will start an entire series on “The Barriers to Success”. This series will be intense. It will allow you to look inside, look in the mirror and really take a self assessment of where you are, where you are going and where you want to be. It will allow you to pick from these blogs the areas where you struggle. It will also give you insight on areas you thought you had under control.

Don’t miss this series!

Subscribe the this blog so that you can catch “The Barriers to Success”

Rob Wheeler

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